Lesson to Learn by Penny Jordan

Author:Penny Jordan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 1992-10-22T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SEVEN

GRAY puzzled her, Sarah acknowledged. He was a man of such contradictions; a man who one moment could be the most caring and loving father to his child and yet who the next could withdraw from him almost as though he was afraid.

But afraid of what? Not, surely, of Robbie himself. Afraid of loving him, perhaps?

She frowned as she mulled the thought round in her head. It was almost two weeks since that fateful morning when she had arrived and found Gray sleeping in Robbie’s bed, when he had in his sleep taken hold of her and caressed her and kissed her.

But no, she must not allow herself to think…to remember. She had always told herself more times than she cared to dwell upon that that incident was something around which she must build a fortification strong enough to ensure that its memory remained sealed away, untouched, undisturbed, unthought of for the rest of her life. Because if it wasn’t…if she allowed it to dominate her thoughts and her feelings…She gave a deep shudder.

There was no future in the way she felt about Gray, no hope of his ever returning her feelings, of his ever coming to love her; she knew that from the way he treated her; from the cool civility that sometimes did not quite mask his antagonism towards her. He employed her as Robbie’s nanny simply because he had not been able to find anyone else, but she knew now how much he resented her presence in his home, how much he resented her. She had seen the way he looked at her whenever Robbie ran to her for a cuddle, or whenever Robbie turned to her for something he wanted, and she knew that Gray disliked his son’s growing emotional dependence on her.

She too was increasingly uneasy about it although, she suspected, for very different reasons. Robbie was a very vulnerable child. She had tried her best to widen his horizons, to introduce him to other children, and to some extent had been successful, but he still clung to her…still rushed quickly back to her side as though he was half afraid that she might have disappeared in his absence.

All quite a natural reaction, given the trauma he had been through, of course, but what Robbie needed in his life was someone permanent to whom he could give his love and his dependence, not someone like her who would only be a part of his life for a relatively short time.

It was true that Robbie was slowly becoming more responsive to his father, thanks to her own unceasing and gentle encouragement to him to see Gray as his friend rather than his enemy, and it was also true that Gray was becoming more responsive to him, showing a much gentler and more caring manner towards him than he had originally done, and yet sometimes, just as she was congratulating herself on having helped to forge a real bond between them, almost always—or so it seemed—when

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